I can honestly say from the second Mini-Mumbler number 2 was born I have felt guilty for something or other pretty much every day.
Whether it be that I did more baby classes with my eldest or that I managed to breastfeed my second for A LOT longer than my first. This was her choice, not mine and after 10 months of her refusing to take a bottle, breast milk or formula, I take my hat off to women who see out a year!
I read more to my oldest and my youngest was, and still is, dragged around watching her older brother doing various sporting activities… which leads to even more guilt as there are not enough days in the week (or money in the bank) for her to do as much as he does!
It’s the constant battle of the grass is greener.
Do I spend enough time playing with the kids?
Is the house clean enough? (probably not as you spent so much time playing with the kids!!)
Can we afford to go abroad this year?
I missed the school play because I had to work. (to pay for the holiday you all need, all the classes they attend, food for dinner!)
Was that dinner healthy enough?
Do the kids get their 5 a day?
Do the kids watch too much TV?
Do I shout too much?
Should I have packed their hats & gloves… The list goes on!
And then there is the Mum Guilt when you take time for yourself, which let’s be honest we ALL need to do at some point otherwise we will all be losing our $#*%!
I should be helping them with their homework not enjoying a coffee with my friends!
I feel bad I left them with the babysitter so I could go out!
Did I spend too long at the gym?
So how do we combat Mum Guilt?
My answer… I don’t think we should, the fact that we feel guilt shows we care, that we are good parents and we only want the best for our kids. Understand that perfection and parenting do not mix, we all make mistakes, we all drop the ball. Stop being so hard on yourself.
Nobody is perfect, take a deep breath and embrace the Mum Guilt and if you can’t embrace it then learn to live with it. Stop judging yourself. Stop comparing yourself to other playground mums who seem to have their $#*% together- Live your own life, that Mum in the playground is probably paddling like mad underwater too!
You are a great Mum and the “Mum Guilt” just proves that! Your best IS good enough. The only thing children need in life is LOVE!
If you are experiencing something more than “Mum Guilt” talk to someone, our Support for Parents pages contain lots of local organisations who are there to help.